Menstrual Conversations: Beyond the "Bloody" War-Cry

Almost 20 years since I have been menstruating. 8 years of professional experience!

In my 8 years of professional experience, the topic of menstrual paid leaves has become a significant part of the conversation. Not once in these years have I felt my team/manager failed to understand when I CLEARLY said I need an off because I am on my periods. No elaborate explanations, no unnecessary questions asked in return.

One thing I can surely say, for me, choosing this way of authenticity was the best. It was much easy, respectful and righteous. I NEVER FELT MORE EQUAL! 

Yes, I will agree that this left many in an uncomfortable spot, many times. Many were taken aback with my direct approach that I am not covering it with flamboyant gestures pertaining to “girls' problems”, bowed down heads, awkwardness, etc. Many felt it was easy for me because I am that personality who talks straight (sadly, not able to have my emotional talks till yet).

Clearly, it has been, Me be Me, You be You. 

Yes, it is about my upbringing, social circle I share, my perceptions, my schooling, my exposure, that has shaped this and made me this normal with the “topic” (is it actually worth discussing? YES! But in a different light! Hygiene definitely!)

Disclaimer: Since, we are talking about the “paid leaves” hue and cry, hence sticking the conversation to a certain strata.

We all want this to be dealt with as “natural”, but addressing the unspoken, while we strive to normalize conversations around menstruation, questions remain: Can women truly break free from viewing it as a burden? Will we stop attributing our actions solely to PMS? Can we, as women, embrace the natural and biological essence of menstruation without attaching it to a sense of “suffering”? 

Yes, it is uncomfortable, one stain on your clothes can completely burst your confidence, and what not but can we take it a little light? We are not VICTIMS! 

At the same time, 

I acknowledge that my ability to openly discuss menstruation is a privilege not everyone shares. Many still grapple with societal expectations and norms that dictate silence around this natural bodily function.

Even for me, there are moments when I choose not to say ‘I Am On My Periods’. Simply because, I don’t like the sympathy I get then, NO. It hits me like a rock. But I know when my brother, father, friend is giving that, it is coming from a sense of care and love. Yes, I want to be low key in those times, not sick. Be empathetic, I don’t want to go on trekking as Whisper commercial shows, NO, noone wants that, NOONE. (Well, Women Empowerment and Marketing is the bandwagon, sadly!)

We women have used it as a weapon ourselves!

Some days, we are a victim of it, cover our wrong saying to dear ones with a PMS excuse, while other days we say, ohh we bleed, we are superwoman, no man can do it the way we do it.

Periods don't make you a Super Woman, but a Woman. 

SIMPLE. PERIOD.

Humans have complicated it. 

I guess my strengths are more than this very fact that I bleed every month. We women are belittling ourselves. 

Lastly, Mansplaining exists because Womansplaining exists. 

It is us only who have passed this image to Men. We have an equal share. 

Yes, they can’t feel what we feel, but they will pick what we tell them, what they hear, what they see and feel.

Husband-Wife/ Girlfriend-Boyfriend jokes around PMS seem so lame to me. Totally not required. If someone is covering her actions under the experience (pretence of PMS), you are being done wrong.  Yes, we have our mood swings, we have otherwise too. PMS jokes are the biggest parasite of society, so are blaming men for every wrongdoings to women.

Gender roles exist for a reason! We are built differently. 

Acknowledgment makes experience, understanding easy.

Forget men here, women need to understand the meaning of basic rights now!

Menstrual hygiene is a big concern, the taboo attached to it in Tier 2-3 cities is a nightmare and what not. Nearing 2024, when we have the privilege to talk about tampons, cups, few are still struggling to get access to proper sanitary pads. For some it is too expensive, but definitely less than the later disease bill, it is going to cost them. 

As we advocate for a shift in the narrative surrounding menstruation, it's crucial to recognize the diversity of experiences and comfort levels. The goal is not merely to discuss it as a "natural" occurrence but to redefine the conversation itself. It's about fostering an environment where women can choose to talk openly or remain private about their menstrual experiences without judgment or societal expectations. After all, the journey towards destigmatizing menstruation is as unique as each woman's monthly cycle.

ADDRESSING THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM!

Do I need paid leaves?

Yes, I am proficient at managing my responsibilities, even during those trying days. The recurring need to verbalize my requirement for space creates a sense of discomfort. 

But, biologically, I do need a break. Everyone have their tough days, these are ours. Like everyone, we want our space.

I am good at acknowledging it, but not every time. Not always do I want people to know. For that I want a space where my silence is heard. 

We can have a provision of maybe more sick leaves.

The way the government has taken up the “Paid Leave” discussion, making it a man-woman cry, attaching adjectives like “not handicapped”, “sick” was not required to shun a man talking. Not always! 

High time we break the comparison:

Women empowerment has got nothing to do with Periods!

Women will get rights, we are progressing, but including gender roles/biological wiring in the process is totally swaying away from the topic, easily!

Can we just TALK and not make a DEBATE out of it? Always?